Summer has arrived! And while the weather may not be as hot as we’d like it to be just yet, dating is hot as ever. Grease famously taught us “Summer lovin’/Had me a blast,” and unfortunately that hasn’t changed a bit. Summer will always be associated with those short flings. Is it possible for things to last longer with a summer fling? Definitely. But in the meantime, we have to be realistic. Here are the best ways to stay grounded when it comes to your casual rendezvous this season.
- Treat Them Like a Friend. The best first date advice I’ve ever gotten, and that I still give to this day, is go in expecting to make a new friend. If you make a new friend, no one gets hurt. If your mindset is that I can be friends with this person, you’re more relaxed, calm, and collected. You’re also curious and seeking to understand, rather than be understood. This is the best footing for dating, but especially casual dating.
- Be Honest About Your Needs. There’s always a way to disclose your needs without seeming needy or coming off like you want more. When I was first dating my husband, I told him that when we decided to sleep together I wanted him to spend the night. No expectations, just being clear about what would make me feel good. You have every right to say what you need in this situation, and a good person will respect that.
- Decide Your Boundaries. Are you strictly meeting up in public? Or will there be sleepovers involved? It’s a great idea to figure this out early on, especially before feelings are involved. That way you protect yourself if feelings do creep into the picture later on. You’ve already established what you are okay with, and the earlier you do that, the better.
- Keep Your Options Open. Like any casual dating situation, you must recognize that you’re not putting your eggs in one specific basket. If, and especially if, you’re wanting something more serious, it’s important to keep your options open so you don’t commit to your casual fling and miss out on a potential serious partnership that may be good for you. If you end up getting serious with someone else, make sure you’re transparent with your casual fling about it, because you would want that in return.
- Don’t Pressure a Conversation. As Kyle Cooke on Summer House says, “Summer should be fun.” Make sure you remember not to take any of it too seriously. That means not cornering your summer fling into a “What are we?” conversation, but rather leaning into riding the waves that summer has to offer.
You deserve to have an amazing summer, and you deserve to feel good about yourself, too! If anyone ever makes you feel otherwise, they aren’t the person—or even the fling—for you. For more dating, relationship, and motherhood tips, you can follow @wemetatacme on Instagram or check out “We Met At Acme” wherever you listen to podcasts.
Lindsey Metselaar
