Sometimes the most unexpected plot twist is the one you write for yourself. After years spent helping craft televised love stories, Julie LaPlaca found herself ready to step out from behind the scenes and ask a question she had long encouraged others to explore: What do I actually want for my own life?
A graduate of Fashion Institute of Technology and former producer of The Bachelor, Julie LaPlaca experienced what she describes as a “mid-thirties meltdown” that became an awakening—one that led her to leave behind a successful television career and begin a deeply personal journey of healing and self-discovery.
Today, she guides women in breaking free from unconscious patterns and outdated narratives through coaching, somatic practices, and subconscious work. This July, she shares that transformation in her forthcoming memoir, The Love Producer, a candid reflection on reinvention, identity, and the courage it takes to rewrite your own story. Check out our full interview with Julie LaPlaca below.
SPOTLIGHT: You’ve spoken about a mid-thirties breaking point that ultimately changed everything. Looking back now, what do you think that moment was really asking of you?
LAPLACA: It was asking me to slow down and connect with myself again. So many of us live in a kind of hypnotic state, moving through life on autopilot. Somewhere along the way, we lose touch with the essence of who we truly are and what we actually desire. The life I had built was successful on paper, but it didn’t feel like mine anymore. I like to say it was a breakdown turned breakthrough because it forced me to embark on a journey inward and connect with myself on a deeper level. I realized I was no longer living in alignment with who I was becoming. I needed to understand why and make the changes necessary to fully step into my authentic self. Sometimes things have to break down in order for something new to bloom.
SPOTLIGHT: After years of producing The Bachelor, you stepped away from television entirely. What did leaving that world give you that success within it couldn’t?
LAPLACA: Sleep! I still don’t know how I operated on so little sleep for so long! But beyond that, it gave me space. When your life becomes your work, it’s hard to create room for anything else. I spent years chasing external success and validation without even realizing it. My job had become my identity, and I think that is something that happens to a lot of people. We define ourselves by a title or what we do every day. But when that is stripped away, it forces a new kind of exploration.
Leaving gave me the freedom to reconnect with the love within, become curious about my inner child, and explore forms of creative expression that were just for me—not for ratings. After years of telling other people’s stories, I finally had the space to take ownership of my own and reflect on how I wanted my next chapter to unfold.
SPOTLIGHT: Your work today centers on helping women recognize the stories they’re unconsciously living. When did you first realize you were living one that wasn’t fully yours?
LAPLACA: I think it first hit me when I got a big promotion at work and immediately went back to my office and started crying! They weren’t tears of joy—they were tears of sorrow, knowing I was committed to the job for another year. If that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is!
Around that same time, I was linked in the tabloids to the Bachelor I was producing and almost became the lead of The Bachelorette as a result. The creators of the show saw it as the modern-day Cinderella story. I couldn’t agree more and was excited to finally step out of the shadows and be the star of my own love story—quite literally.
But just as quickly as that fairy-tale dream appeared, it vanished, and I was back to producing the next Bachelorette. My job required me to dig into other people’s hearts and ask deep vulnerable questions about love and their desires in life. I realized I was always the supporting character for everyone else and yet had never really asked those questions of myself. Why was I so good at getting others to open up while shielding my own heart?
This was 2020, when Covid forced the world to slow down. During the shutdown, I deepened my mindfulness practice and began studying the subconscious mind. I started to understand how our stories and patterns keep us clinging to what feels familiar, even when it no longer serves us. I finally found the courage to leave after a Zoom call with my bosses. I looked at them and realized I was working toward something I had no desire to become.
SPOTLIGHT: Writing a memoir requires a different kind of honesty. Was there a part of your story you hesitated to include — and why did you ultimately decide it mattered?
LAPLACA: Absolutely. So much so that the story first began as a fictional film idea loosely inspired by my life—a way to hide behind the truth. When that stalled, I started writing it as a novel.
At the same time, I was being pulled on a spiritual journey. Intuitively, I knew I was meant to tell the real story, but I carried a lot of shame and fear around doing so. I have always been a people pleaser and didn’t want to upset anyone. Part of my journey was working through that, and eventually, I found the courage to shift gears and write my truth.
The writing process in and of itself was deeply healing for me. As Maya Angelou said, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” After years in unscripted television, I’ve always found reality far more compelling than fiction. I think every human has a story worth sharing. I’m still terrified, especially for my dad to read the details of my dating life! But if I can inspire one woman to move through her shame and own her story, it’s all worth it.
SPOTLIGHT: Reinvention is often romanticized. What’s one truth about starting over that you wish more people talked about openly?
LAPLACA: It can be an incredibly lonely process. Part of my reinvention also meant shedding people—including friendships—and places that no longer felt aligned. I had to walk through what some would call the dark night of the soul. It’s hard when you’re in it, but that’s when the deepest transformation happens.
When you leave something that has defined you, your nervous system can panic. Even if the change is right, it can feel like danger. The subconscious will do everything it can to pull you back toward the familiar. Our minds can be our biggest villains. But when you’re able to move out of the head and into the heart, the path begins to reveal itself. I now see how the universe was guiding me all along, and reflect back with gratitude.
LaPlaca’s memoir will be available on July 7th, 2026. You can pre-order the book today here. For more information visit her website www.theloveproducer.com.
